Success at School #1 Home Connection
School must be important to parents in order to have success. We must support the teachers and stand by their policies. Positive comments help. Good routines at home are invaluable.
Ideas Families Have Tried:
1. Set up a good schedule.
A schedule of early to bed, healthy habits, and a good breakfast help so much. A system for getting homework done at a good time is a big boost. A place for doing homework is important too. A balance of extra-curricular activities—not too many—also helps. Let your student have some down time, to be outside for awhile or to just be at home and unwind, and talk with you. Then they can more tackle school work with more interest and energy. (See Get Me Ready for School post)
I was wondering why one son had become so negative about school without an apparent reason, and had been prayerful about it. Then one day, it hit me over the head. This young boy was simply not getting enough sleep at night! He had invented one reason after another to stay up late. And it had become night after night that he stayed up with older brothers and sister–high school age–who had concerts or homework to keep them up. I set up a study room in our home, away from the little boys’ bedroom, so that I could read his bedtime story to him and his brother earlier, with the older ones out of the way. I began reading while they brushed teeth, thus expediting an earlier bedtime. I tightened the reins on his bedtime, appointing Daddy to be Bedtime Police, who would check to see if he was in bed by his 8:30 bedtime. Happier student! Problem solved!
A good breakfast is a big deal. Sugary breakfasts bring an immediate high of nervous energy, then an abrupt downhill plunge of no energy when the sugar is used up, and the body needs to draw from other nutrients to digest it. The sugar high and the sudden low that follows are both detriment to sitting still and concentrating in class. A breakfast of grains and fruit is much better at keeping the energy at an even keel throughout the morning until lunch. (See Power Breakfast post)
My kids had quite a bit of homework assigned each day when they were in kindergarten. I tried to set up a regular homework session each afternoon first thing. But I found that some of them especially needed to get out and play! They had used up all their patience sitting still and conscientiously making that pencil do what he needed it to do, and now they were done!! I found that when I let them eat a good snack, then play all afternoon, they were happier and more ready to take on school again the next day. So, I let them move homework time to mornings. The family got up early, so there was enough time to sit at the table or bar right after breakfast, and get it all done. This change made for a lot less struggle.
My friend—I’ll call her Joanie–knew that her kids had to do homework directly after school. She found that if she was firm in her expectations at the start of the year, and required homework immediately after a short snack time, the kids would quit fighting it, and the struggle would peter out. The gradually became faster at just getting it done, in order to get out and play.
After seeing several students go completely through the school system, I felt like I should let the child learn early on to take the lead on homework. As early as reasonable, my goal was to have the children learn to be self-directed. I coaxed my children into taking charge of their own schedule, simply by not managing it for them. I even let them pay the penalty of missed recess or Friday fun if they didn’t get it done. The natural consequences faced now, while they were young, helped them internalize and determine to do better. Later on, I found, when my kids’ grades mattered much more (i.e. for getting into college), the lessons had been learned.
My Favorite Idea:
2. Pray for the Teacher.
Teachers are extra pressured at our neighborhood school and all over. There is new curriculum to implement, stressful standards to reach, and way too many kids in each class! Besides all that, teachers have their families at home to worry about, and their own health issues. Teach your children to empathize with the teacher. Pray for her, to be able to have a good day, or to be able to enjoy her job. Pray for her family. Pray for the students to be good, to make her load lighter.
My Other Favorite Idea:
3. Find Donuts!
When one of our kids struggled with liking school, I inquired about friends. No, there was not a problem there. I already knew that this son had a good teacher who really liked him. Recess was okay and he loved PE and library day and music. Finally, I challenged him to start finding “donuts.”
I explained that when someone gave you a donut, you could either look at the yummy donut and thank them for it, or you could look at the hole and complain that this donut has a hole in it! That would be silly! Of course you would only notice the yummy donut!! It’s the same way with life, I explained. You can look for donuts or you can notice only the holes. If this son could find ten donuts all week and write them down—different ones each day—I told him I would take him out of school for lunch together on Friday. Deal? You bet! It was a fun challenge—and tasty too! The challenge ended, but the concept stuck. Often that year and since, I have encouraged him to find “donuts” that coming day, then asked him for “donuts” after school. He might remember someone who was nice to him, a fun assembly, a cool science experiment, or a game at recess. His outlook is tweaked to be more positive.
4. Talk about school.
Look over what your child brings home, the notices and announcements and especially, their papers. Find good things to praise, in her work, thus reinforcing the positive. I like the way you made this “T”, or colored the sky, or remembered to write your name at the top. Or, this is an especially good part of your story. Talk about the day right after school, and again at the dinner table.
Parental involvement helps a child find success at school. If parents take time to look at and praise papers brought home, a child is told his schoolwork is important. If a parent is in the classroom volunteering a little time, a child is told that he is important. Being in the classroom lets parents visualize better the child’s classroom and friends and understand better whatever comes up. When parents talk to teachers, solutions can be found early when things are not going quite right.
5. Thank the teacher.
Most teachers are overworked and underpaid. Their class sizes are way too large and the pressures to pressure to produce excellent test scores are way too heavy. Help your child develop empathy for their teacher. They could make cookies for their teacher. Pick a flower to bring her. Write a thank you note, in which you can spell out the good things you have noticed this year. But the note your child writes in their own handwriting will mean the most.
Some of my kids especially had a hard time with a thank you note. So, I would have a nice thank you card ready, and ideas thought up. We would sit down together and we would brainstorm specific things they liked about school that year. We would talk about certain lessons and activities they had enjoyed. I would jot these all down on a piece of paper, in large, easy-to-read letters, so they could use these to write a nice note. When a child was too young to write a whole card, I would have them dictate one for me to write down.
I found that the students’ own words (and own handwriting as soon as possible), as well as specifics about their class were extra meaningful to the teacher. We don’t need to wait until the end of the year to thank the teacher. In fact, it will help our children have a better attitude about the school year if we help them find gratitude along the way.
I have thought of my sister’s words many times, that there is nothing too little to bring to the Lord, and He will send ideas and help. I have gained my own testimony of this, especially when we pray about school, where our children spend so much of their childhood.
See also: School Success #2: It takes a Team
I would love to hear your good idea or experience with this topic.