How to stir up conversation at the dinner table.
“How was School Today?” you ask your children as they come inside and drop their backpack. “OK!” is the reply you get—or some other one-word answer, leaving you wanting more information! It doesn’t help to interrogate, because they often clam up even more, before running off for a snack or a diversion. How do we build rapport with our kids, and encourage them to talk to us about their world out there.
Never fear, there is another chance to find out more: dinnertime! Conversation at dinner time is an excellent way to tune in to each of your students. Simply use a Rapport Card! This is not the kind with grades on it, but a list of each child’s name and details you have detected from that day.
Susie brings home a picture of a dinosaur she drew, so on that day’s rapport card, beside her name you jot down Dinosaur and Art, to remind you to tlk about those together. Then, around the kitchen table, the spouse that was not home when Susie arrived can read from the rapport card, and ask, “Susie, tell us about dinosaurs.” “Which one’s your favorite?” After that conversation, you could ask “What did you do at art class today? Do you like drawing or painting best?” “You are quite the artist!”
Sammy’s shoes come home with mud on them, and he is favoring one foot, so you jot down Muddy; Hurt foot. At the table you could ask, “”How did you hurt your foot today?” “Would you like me to pack an extra sandwich in your lunch?” Or “I’m glad you have friends who like to be active like you! Which ones are your favorite friends these days?”
Suley had been studying for her Chemistry test the night before, and came home a little bit hoarse voice. So on the rapport card you jot down Chem test and Choir. At the table you ask, “How was that Chemistry test? You sure gave a lot of time and effort to study for it! You’re a diligent student!” and “Did you have a rigorous rehearsal in choir today—did it leave you a little hoarse? I can’t wait for your concert!” “Would you like to invite your friends for ice cream afterward?”
Dinner is a great place to find out details of our kids lives, to catch the hard things that may need more support or even a call to the school. Here’s a chance to complement and build up your kids, in front of the whole family. You can give kids good labels for their efforts, find out their interests, and to empathize with them for the tough things in today’s world out there. All of this gives them the security of a family that cares! Here, we parents can learn more about those they are hanging out with and whether they are a good friend or a bad example. With a little practice, you can become a good detective, and find out more about what your children go through each day.
Sometimes it takes a herculean effort just to sit down together! It’s may be tough to align everyone’s schedule to all sit down at the same time to eat! But it is worth it. Connection with each child tells them you care, you are there for them. It’s worth the effort, to build rapport and bonds of love—while having great suppertime conversation with those we love most!
See also: The Daddy Report