Talking to Teenagers #3 Expectations
My Best Idea:
Be Clear with Expectations.
Parents can expect certain things of their teenagers, such as respect, responsibility, and gratitude. Especially if parents have taught these principles to them when they were young.
At one point, I spelled out our expectations on paper, for our teenage kids, both what we as parents expected from them, and what the kids could expect from Mark and I as parents. I read it to them, and we talked about it. And our teenagers seemed very receptive, as it seemed totally fair to them. It was food for thought, that Mom and Dad really do a lot for them, and therefore, can expect a lot from us Then I posted the list on the fridge, and referred to it, as needed.
Our list went like this:
Expectations
Mom and Dad should expect:
- Chores done every day without being asked. Saturday work on Saturday done without being asked.
Kids should expect:
- No nagging if they’ve been doing their part each day, and each Saturday.
Mom and Dad should expect:
- Extra help when they’re in a bind and support for their callings.
Kids should expect:
- Extra help when they’re in a bind and support for their callings.
Kids should expect:
- A respectful request and a kind response if they’ve tried their best.
Mom and Dad should expect:
- A respectful answer at all times.
Kids should expect:
- Freedom to learn to manage their own things and their own time well.
Mom and Dad should expect:
- Everyone to be at scriptures because they managed their time well.
Kids should expect:
- A little rest after school and a snack.
Mom and Dad should expect:
- Chores done at a reasonable time.
Kids should expect:
- Food provided.
Mom and Dad should expect:
- Kids to eat what they are able to provide and gratitude for it.
Our teenagers were glad to be treated like responsible pre-adults, with both needs and expectations.
Ideas that worked well for you? Please comment with your good idea or experience with this topic.