Teaching Children to Love the Ultimate Hero
I recently came across this inspiring quote, “Christ is the center of our home, a guest at every meal, a silent listener to every conversation.” What a supreme goal, to have our Savior be the focal point of our lives, to have Him as the Ultimate Hero.
Ideas Families Have Tried:
1. Picture the Savior
I wanted there to be no doubt that ours was a Christian home, one that honors the Savior Jesus Christ, so I put up pictures of Him in every room. Once when my Son-in-Law was living with us, he told me that he worked such long hours at discouraging work, and wanted to see a picture of the Savior. “They are up all over,” I pointed out to him. But he longed to see a picture of Jesus in his regular path from the top of the stairs to the bathroom. I thought that was a commendable wish, so I rearranged the pictures on the wall and put a prominent one in the hallway.
Each of our children got to pick his favorite picture of the Savior to frame and put up in his room. To make it even more special, I found a place that would make me some small plaques that read “I am His Disciple.” These were placed under the picture for a constant reminder of our commitment to Him.
2. Teach the Commandments
Jesus said, “If ye love me, keep my commandments.” (John 14:15) In order to keep the commandments, our children need to know them well. The 10 Commandments are the basis of good society and good homes. On top of that, in the Sermon on the Mount, Christ himself dictated to us His higher commandments.
One FHE, Mark and I had each of our children choose two commandments to teach the family. They read them to us, then talked about living them. We taught our children that a couple of the commandments contain a built-in promise. For example, the commandment to Honor our Father and Mother promises us that our days will be long upon the land. I told them about a high school friend who had not listened to her parents and had been killed in an accident. Mark then shared times when he was protected after being obedient. Another commandment, Remember the Sabbath Day to Keep it Holy, promises: “the fullness of the earth is yours.” (D&C 59:16) Mark and I told the kids the story of an ancestor who made the decision to travel on Sunday in order to catch up with the pioneer group. Unfortunately, this ancestor’s wagon was then broken when horses were spooked, setting them back for an entire week!
Mark and I also reminded their kids of an experience within our own family. We had been blessed to find a lost rocket at the High School by waiting to retrieve it until after the Sabbath. On Sunday night, a heavy wind arose, and blew the rocket out of a tree, so they could find it on Monday! “Ye shall keep the Sabbath, for it is..a sign” that we love God. (Exodus 31:14, 17). See also “Teach them to Keep them.” https://theanswerismorelove.com/2017/04/teach-them-to-keep-them/
Years ago, our Stake President encouraged the members of our stake to frequently review, with our children, the teachings of Christ in the Sermon on the Mount, since it is the higher law, the way we want to live to qualify for the Celestial Kingdom. So, on the days Mark has to go to work early, I interrupted our family’s regular scripture study and read that day from Matthew chapters 5, 6, and 7 or 3 Nephi chapters 12, 13, and 14. Not only would we read them, but I would try to share insights, stories about living these principles and messages from a New Testament class I had taken. Our kids became very familiar with the Beatitudes, letting your light so shine, turning the other cheek, and building your house upon a rock. Not only shall we not kill, Christ teaches, but not even hate others, and so forth. It was easier for us to help our kids live better when they were well-versed in Jesus’ commandments.
My Favorite Idea:
3. Bond Good Feelings with Good Things
When I lived in a Married Student ward in college with my two little toddlers, there was a movement going on as to how to help toddlers learn to be quiet in church. Many parents would take a fussing child out to the foyer and hold their arms around the child, preventing any movement. The thinking was that the child would come to prefer staying in the chapel and being able to wiggle quietly, rather than go out when noisy and have to be restrained. Some parents were extra thorough at restraining their baby good and long! This bothered me so much, as those struggling babies were surely developing a major dislike of church—they likely cried each time they saw the building! “This is the bad place where Daddy is mean to me!”
In contrast, my “Family Relations” class professor taught us to Bond Happy Thoughts with Happy Things. When his little boy got fussy in church, he would take him outside to feed the horse on the adjoining property. Consequently, his toddler son learned to love to go to church! “That is the happy place where Daddy lets me feed the horsey!”
One summer, enthusiasm for going to the library was waning. That year, the Summer Reading Program was not so fun, and so it wasn’t as exciting to go visit the library (although they usually enjoyed checking out neat new books when we got them there). I decided to Celebrate Coming Home from the Library! The next week, we did a Drive Through Car Wash on the way home!! A couple of times, we stopped for a quarter ice cream cone to celebrate. The plan was to bond good feelings of excitement with a good thing like going to the library!
Family Home Evening is a happy time, so we must bond to it happy feelings. It is not the time for discipline or scoldings or withholding a treat for those who misbehave. We don’t want our children to leave FHE thinking, “I hate Family night!” We must bond happy things with happy feelings. Family night is a wonderful time to teach principles without singling anyone out. It is a great place to listen carefully and respectfully to each family member’s point of view or to let the children bear their testimony or even do the teaching and be praised for doing so. And the family night treat is for everyone, just because he is a member of the family, regardless if he slept through the lesson or rolled on the floor! (Chances are he heard the message, by the way, even if we think he didn’t!) The goal is for each to leave FHE thinking, “Family Nights are fun!” or at least, “FHE is where my opinions are valued and where my parents tell me how much they love me.”
That same college professor of mine told us about a father who carried a ruler with him during family scripture study. If one of his three children fell asleep during scripture readying, he rapped that one on the head! Well, two of his children grew up to be atheists and a third became an agnostic! The only thing they had gained from scripture study was hatred for the Word! Therefore, when Mark and I began to read the scriptures with our little ones who grew wiggly quickly, I decided that to make Scripture Time a happy time, I would provide refreshments! Consequently, whenever we read together, we ate graham crackers too!
Our family got the chance to travel to a special Temple Open House before it was dedicated. It was an especially choice experience for one of our sons. Because he strongly felt the Spirit there. After recording the experience in his journal, giving a talk about it, and remembering those special feelings, he will always bond choice feelings with temples. Conversely, our younger son was told he had to stick with us the whole way through. So during the entire tour, he struggled with that. He wanted to go ahead with his brothers, or break away from our control. He totally missed the awesome experience and the choice feelings. I wish we had allowed more freedom and had focused instead on whispering the special things we saw and what we felt, helping him to bond happy feelings with happy places.
The bottom line is this: Be careful not to make God into The Bad Guy who is disappointed in us. Rather, wait to bring Him up when we can couple it with praise. Never say “God did not like the way you were noisy in church,” but instead, “God must be so proud of you because you were so quiet today in His house.” We want to show our children a loving, merciful God who suffered in order to allow us repentance. The message we must teach is, “He died so we can try again and again to do better,” along with, “We are trying to be more and more like Him so we will be happy! We want to be comfortable in His presence when He comes again.”
4. Talk over Why we Do Things. Just what is our motivation for what we do—for praise, for money, for fear of punishment? Elder Dallin H. Oaks taught in His landmark talk “Why Do We Serve?” The very best reason to do anything is because we love the Lord. https://www.lds.org/ensign/1984/11/why-do-we-serve?lang=eng
Periodically, I would ask my children, “Why are we going to church today?” or “Why are we helping Grandma?” or even just “Why do we go to school?” They soon knew well what the best answer to that question was: “Because we love the Lord.” I then elaborate that we love Him and what He has given us, so we want to develop our talents or we want to do good to show our love for Him.
Someone told me that we should take our children with us whenever we serve someone. If I brought some dinner to a sick friend, I told her kids, “I need someone to hold this dish carefully on his lap!” If Grandma’s weeds were getting high, I enthusiastically suggested, “Let’s go over and surprise her by getting the weeds all pulled before she gets home!” In the summer, we set aside one day for service, and often it turned out to be for Daddy or a member of the family. We want the kids to learn that service at home is the best! Also, we want them to internalize that when we serve, we are doing the work the Lord would do if He were here. “Since he’s not, He needs our hands!”
Children learn the most from what we are, so she we can work to truly love the Savior so they would too.
5. Shoot for the ideal.
Joe and May Lemke were an older couple who raised a foster baby. This baby boy had had diseased eyes removed, suffered cerebral palsy and had severe brain damage as well. Despite Leslie’s vegetative state, for years they daily talked and sang to him, massaged his limbs and took him outside into the nearby lake. Then one night, the miracle they had prayed for happened. Leslie began to play the piano beautifully. In fact, despite His limitations, he could play anything he heard! The Lemke’s soon set out to share this miracle and let him perform for others.
In the introduction to their performances, author Shirlee Monty would say, “Most people assume there are three people in the Lemke family but they are wrong. Actually, there are four: May, Joe, Leslie and Jesus Christ.
“I’ve been in homes where Jesus Christ is a Sunday guest and others where He’s invited only on holidays. In some homes,
He’s somewhat akin to the family doctor. He’s called in only when there is an emergency.
“Sometimes he’s more like a college student. There are pictures and mementos all over the house but you really don’t feel His presence. He’s obviously away for awhile.
“But the Lemke home is different. Jesus Christ is as much a part of that family as May or Joe or Leslie. He’s introduced to every guest and included in many conversations. May might say, ‘You know, I was talking to Jesus the other day’ or she might say ‘Isn’t it amazing what Jesus has done with that boy?’” See May’s Boy: the Rest of the Story by Shirlee Monty.
What a wonderful ideal to strive for, having Him that much a part of our lives.
“We talk of Christ, We rejoice in Christ, we preach of Christ,… that our children my know to what source they may look for remission of their sins.” (2 Nephi 25:26) If ever one of our children is in a bind, we want them to know immediately where to turn for help. In reality, always there is available to each of them a loving Savior who knows them entirely and loves them completely and is ready with succor when invited. May we teach each of them and give them this champion, this ally, the best of heroes.
Thanks for reading! I would love your comments! How do You bring God into your children’s lives?