Enjoying One Another in Our Families
“Do our children receive our best spiritual, intellectual, and creative efforts, or do they receive our leftover time and talents, after we have given our all to our Church callings and professional pursuits?” Tad R. Callister https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2014/10/parents-the-prime-gospel-teachers-of-their-children?lang=eng
When we engage in what’s around us, and make time and effort to tune in and enjoy our family, the message that we love them is clear. What are some new ways to enjoy our families, at this precious time we have now, in order that there won’t be regrets?
Ideas Families have Tried:
–A Family Dance.
The Martins love to turn on music and dance around the family room together. Whenever they plan a reunion, they include a sound system and an assignment to a tech-savvy son to gather upbeat music for a fun dance! Gradually, all have learned to let inhibitions go and just have fun moving to the music together.
–Build a cardboard play house or two.
One of my kids’ favorite memories is when Mark got some refrigerator boxes—one for each child—at an appliance store. He let them help design their own playhouse, complete with cut out windows and doors. We let the little kids bring their stuff inside and let their imaginations take off! The family room was filled with a little cardboard village for several days. After the newness wore off, but the kids were not ready to part with their precious houses, we moved them to the back porch for a while.
Other times, we acquired one big appliance box and made one house for the little kids to share. Mark rigged a light bulb attached to an extension cord, in the ceiling of one of them, so a child could read in his special house!
–Go for a walk or a bike ride. In the poor country of Albania, the National Past-time is going for a walk! It was refreshing for my missionary son to see so many folks out and about on foot, cheerfully greeting each other while taking a walk!
The Stevensons like to load up bikes in the back of a truck and take them down to their Community’s man-made lake, where they ride around the perimeter. It is especially fun to do this at dusk, they have found, right when the lights come on and reflect in the water. Their route is a good three to four miles, a perfect workout and an enjoyable family outing.
–Go to the Park.
The Bensons take the kids to the park regularly, to get the wiggles out. Sarah always brings her camera and gets some great shots of her kids playing. She noticed that especially her young boys have a particular need to show her what they could do: “Look at me, Mom!” they call as they do tricks on the playground equipment or improve on how far they can swing on the monkey bars!
–Have a Taffy Pull.
Our family enjoys making honey taffy. Mark simply heats up one cup of honey on the stove until a drop of the boiled mixture makes a hard ball when dropped in a cup of water. At that point, he pulls the pan off the stove and lets it cool spread out on a jelly roll pan. The moment it is cool enough to touch, he scoops up a tablespoon of the gooey mixture with his buttered fingers and lets someone pull! They twist and pull til the taffy has incorporated enough air in it to change color, then it is laid down on the pan to harden. In a few minutes it can be broken into pieces with a butter knife handle. The pieces of honey taffy can be wrapped in pieces of wax paper–IF there is any at all left uneaten!
–A Cookout in the Backyard.
The Hardeman’s keep their cookouts simple. They burn extra pieces of wood in a sawed off trash can, set on top of several bricks on the back lawn. A rack placed on top of it allows for cooking—or long sticks work. The fire is always cozy to sit by and watch, just right for stories or chatting together!
–Read a book, and talk about it.
Jodi found that if she read to the kids a book that she loved and was excited to read, they would love it too! Her enthusiasm to open up each night and see what happens to the characters rubs off on them!
The Scheiders’ came up with a wonderful plan. Suellen found a favorite book, and gave a used copy to each family member. Everyone read it during the first month of summer—most took only a week or so! Every night at dinner, they all could comment on what they had just read. Or, mealtime conversation would consist of someone sharing the details of the book he was currently reading, whetting another family member’s appetite to read it too! It made for some great family conversation!
–Talk, talk, talk!
Talk over current events. Talk at the dinner table about what everyone learned that day. Share a talk you heard or an interesting story you read. Tell your family about your childhood, or your grandparents’ experiences. Share your ideas, and explain what you mean in terms kids can understand, if you use a big word, ask if they understand that word. The Karlsens like to ask, “Did anything funny happen to anyone today?”
–Write Letters to each other.
Sometimes it’s fun to get a real letter! Deryn felt like her student son, away at college, needed some extra support when he couldn’t get away to come home for a holiday. She started sending him a joke a day, through the season. After she exhausted all the jokes that each family member knew, she looked up some more online! It was fun to send him a chuckle, a little reminder each day that she cared.
–Plant a garden or a fruit tree. Let everyone participate.
Tim Yarbro learned that the family garden in the backyard usually came up, even if he let the kids plant the seeds unsupervised. He quit hovering over them to make sure they did it right. This way, they participate more, and feel joy instead of stress. Tim lets the kids help choose which seeds or starts to plant. He likes to give them ownership in the family garden and enjoy doing the project together.
–Go visit Grandma. Skype an Aunt or Uncle or cousin or anyone who is family! Kids gain so much from relationships with extended family.
Mark and Susan West planned a day trip on the next school holiday coming up, to go to the town where Granddad and Grandma had grown up. They toured the old homestead, read the plaques on the monuments, found the grave markers of family members past on. They talked over memories of the old times. They decided that making the effort to connect is worth the sacrifice, as it gives the children a better sense of who they are, and the great people they come from.
–Attend their performances and activities.
Terri learned that it wasn’t enough for her to just be at her kids’ games and concerts. She learned that she gave the message she cared better, if she made the effort to engage. She made an effort to compose a mental list of the good plays her son made at volleyball or remembered the name of her favorite number that her daughter played on the violin. If she watched carefully enough to comment on what happened, the kids felt she enjoyed supporting them. And soon, she really did enjoy them more! Finally, if Terri took a picture of them performing and sent it to Grandma, that was the icing on the cake!
–Chat with each other.
The Bridgers started a fun family activity that shared with each other day to day details, even if they lived far apart from each other. Groupme is an app that allows them to take a quick picture of what they are doing, and send it to all family members. Nan Bridger sends an All Call, and everyone responds as soon as they can, with a picture of what they are doing right now! She felt like her kin that lived across the country knew her and she knew them better from all the pictures!
–Play a Board Game or Do a Puzzle.
The Gaylord’s like to play games on Saturday nights. They get out an old favorite board game like Scrabble or Rummicub, or Ticket to Ride. They set up a card table for a puzzle, that each person came join in for a few pieces or more, when her or she has time.
The Frieberg’s look for games that don’t bring such a competitive Spirit to the family. They found a favorite game called Tapple, in which the whole family can be a team. (See Us vs. the Opposition, not Us vs. Us!)
There once was a nurse who often asked her terminally ill patients if they had any regrets. “Perhaps the most universal regret dying patients expressed was that they wished they had spent more time with the people they love.
“Men in particular sang this universal lament: they ‘deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the [daily] treadmill of … work.’ Many had lost out on choice memories that come from spending time with family and friends. They missed developing a deep connection with those who meant the most to them. “ Dieter F. Uctdorf https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2012/10/of-regrets-and-resolutions?lang=eng
If we parents clear our calendars or to do lists and make time and energy for enjoying our family, they will feel our love and family bonds will grow strong.
What’s your favorite way to enjoy your family? Please comment below or at ideasformypocketcomments@gmail.com