Finding Rest

When I was a new mom, I remember asking myself, “Why didn’t I appreciate my sleep when I used to get enough?”  Babies sure are wonderful, but they sure get us up a lot!  Which makes for lots of tiredness.  Fatigue is tough, so tough that Christ even suffered it!  “And lo, he shall suffer temptations, and pain of body, hunger, thirst, and fatigue, even more than man can suffer, except it be unto death.” Mosiah 3:7

But I heard this quote that helped me: “Most of the important work of this world has been done by those who were tired!”  I wish I knew who said that, because not only was he or she honoring the bone-weary soldiers, inventors, writers, watchmen—all those who stayed up to accomplish something important—but also, parents.

President Hinckley said, “It is imperative that you not neglect your families. Nothing you have is more precious. … When all is said and done, it is this family relationship which we will take with us into the life beyond.”  (“Rejoicing in the Privilege to Serve,” Worldwide Leadership Training Meeting, June 21, 2003, 22).  And much of the hard work we do to nurture those precious to us is when we are tired.

1. Press forward through Pregnancy

Boy is it tiring to carry around that bundle 24/7!  But wow, there is nothing more important on this earth for us to be doing than to provide bodies for the spirits that so want the chance to come to earth.  In fact, I discovered my “pregnancy scripture:” “Wherefore, be not weary in well-doing, for ye are laying the foundation of a great work. And out of small things proceedeth that which is great.” (Doctrine and Covenants 64:33) Pregnancy truly is a great work, and all that fatigue is totally worth it!

Jeffrey R. Holland affirmed this God-like job of pregnancy and motherhood, “No love in mortality comes closer to approximating the pure love of Jesus Christ than the selfless love a devoted mother has for her child.

“You see, it is not only that they bear us, but they continue bearing with us. It is not only the prenatal carrying but the lifelong carrying that makes mothering such a staggering feat.” (“Behold Thy Mother” Ensign, November 2015)

https://www.lds.org/ensign/2015/11/saturday-afternoon-session/behold-thy-mother?lang=eng

2. Nighttime care for Sick kids

My grown-up daughter recently told me that her most poignant memory of growing up was in the middle of the night when she had a bad earache. I woke up with her, she reminded me, and we looked at picture albums of when she was little.  Then we turned on a quiet movie to take her mind off the pain.  “You stayed up and watched it with me!” she said, “Even though you had a busy day planned for the next day, and so many to care for, you spent all that time with me.”  (Whew!  I’m glad I handled that one well!)

Another daughter, who currently has a baby that does not sleep well at night told me, “I guess he just needs that one-on-one time with me!”  She’s willing to be tired the next day, night after night, to give her little baby boy the time and attachment he needs.

All moms should pat themselves on the back!  It is the work of divinity to sacrifice for our loved ones.  Elder Holland quotes a young mother: “How is it that a human being can love a child so deeply that you willingly give up a major portion of your freedom for it? How can mortal love be so strong that you voluntarily subject yourself to responsibility, vulnerability, anxiety, and heartache and just keep coming back for more of the same? What kind of mortal love can make you feel, once you have a child, that your life is never, ever your own again? Maternal love has to be divine. There is no other explanation for it. What mothers do is an essential element of Christ’s work.” (“Behold Thy Mother” Ensign, November 2015)  https://www.lds.org/ensign/2015/11/saturday-afternoon-session/behold-thy-mother?lang=eng

3. Patience

Boy is it tough to be patient when we are tired!  When we have gone through the same thing over and over, it is hard to patiently go through it again, until our child learns.

I never pray for patience, as I know that I will be given more opportunities to be patient!  Instead, I have learned to pray for love.  It is easier to respond patiently when we have help to truly love and understand.

In addition, I learned that power to respond the way I wanted to respond is given me when I read the Book of Mormon!  Yes really, it is such a key.  I was blessed with two identically twin sons and invariably, when they were both 2-years old, one would ask me a question and I would stop what I was doing and go through a long explanation until he understood.  Invariably, the other twin would approach me several minutes later with the exact same question.  “We just went through this!” was my natural man irritable response.  But then, after a moment I would remember that it was his brother, not him, who had had that explanation.  If I had read the scriptures that day—particularly the Book of Mormon—I was given the gift of a moment to formulate a better, more patient response.  Even and especially needed if I was tired.

4. Nap Time!!

We do need to replenish and rest up, and thankfully, there is the wonderful Daily NAP!  I was often pregnant or nursing and even if not, I needed my peaceful break.  I could make a call or do a project or read a book, while the kids napped.

Naptime is amazing.  It allows us to take on only half a day at a time!  I worked hard to make naptime work for every member of my household.  I made sure the youngest baby took an early-enough morning nap so as to be on schedule for afternoon naptime with everyone else.

As naptime approached, my kids and I would pick up the family room, and all sit down for lunch.  I would make sandwiches (the kids chose peanut butter and honey or peanut butter and jelly or peanut butter and raisins) and I would send it to them on the “bus” (the peanut butter lid with sandwich atop, scooted down the table to them!)  The child retrieved the sandwich then scooted the “bus” back to me for the next sandwich!  With lunch over, it was time for an hour of quiet.

All must stay in bed one hour; I set the Timer for all to hear.  The older ones could pile on their bed all the books they wanted, they just had to stay quiet and in bed.  Period. (And often after reading awhile, they drifted off to sleep just like the youngest ones.)  As they grew older, and were home in summertime, older children might be gone for summer school or work, but anyone that happened to be at home at that time must also be quiet in bed—or their room.  It was a wonderful time for kids to Read!   In fact, I started to call it Reading Time rather than Nap time.

As for me, if I could even fall asleep for a few minutes, I would have a boost of energy that I so needed.  And how wonderful if I got 20 minutes!

When a child would wander in, signaling naptime is over, I tried hard to mask my disappointment!  “I’m so glad you woke up!” I would make myself say.  (Telling myself that even if I wished my child had slept longer, I could honestly greet them with this cheerful reply –after all, I didn’t want them NOT to wake up!)

5. Rest to our Bodies and Souls

When I know that my night will be short that coming night, I often pray that the little sleep I do get will be good sleep, physically.  That it will be restful and productive sleep, that will allow me to carry out my next day well anyway.  It really does help!

As for rest to my soul, I have found that when I lie down to sleep, if I let my thoughts turn to the stresses of that day or the anxious plans for the next day, I will struggle to go to sleep and wake with a headache!   But if I focus on gratitude and the good things of the past day, then my sleep is much more restful to my soul!

“Never be weary of good works, but. . . be meek and lowly (and grateful) in heart; for such shall find rest to their souls.”  Alma 37:34.

6. Our Best Work

Sometimes our very best work actually happens when we are tired.  In fact, I heard Metzie Phelps, our Stake Relief Society President say, “Can’t we be glad we are tired?”  She was referring to all the good works we fill our days with:  kids, husbands, service, doing good, even helping others who are tired!

When Mark was on the high school track team, he noticed an interesting phenomenon.  Whenever he had warmed up to the point of being tired—almost too tired to run, but not quite—that was the times he would hit his personal records!  That was the time he performed his best!

I wonder if the Lord can use us best when we are tired, because it is then that we feel weaker and more reliant upon him.  Humble and tired, are we better directed by Him?  Do we then give Him the credit, rather than taking it upon ourselves?

Regardless, there are times when we will be bone-tired and still have something important to do.  (Of course, we must watch out for anemia or another physical reason for excess fatigue.)  But as for normal tiredness from a busy day, may we push through the fatigue and press forward, relying upon the Lord, and be who we want to be!

Thanks for your comments below!