Screens: Manage or Be Managed
Satan’s plan to destroy God’s Kingdom was at risk. The new spirits coming to earth were so sharp and so fearless, a huge threat to him. If only he could distract them with screens of their very own. Put violence in their daily entertainment. Make them compare their worst with everyone else’s best on social media. And make parents feel pressure to provide these screens, that cripple their kids’ sharp brains. Screens abound, and Satan is thrilled with his diabolic plan!
But watch out! There is a Prophet on the Earth. What does he proclaim? A fast from screen time, a fast from social media. A hinted suggestion to consider flip phones for the younger or the troubled. A call to Gather Israel! The descendants of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob must not neglect their role of blessing the peoples of this earth (See President and Sister Nelson’s Devotional for Youth: “A Call to Enlist and Gather Israel,” June 3, 2018, and “Sisters’ Participation in the Gathering of Israel” October 6, 2018). President Nelson’s counsel goes right along with the findings and clinical research of Victoria Dunckley, M.D. found in “The Dangers of Too Much Screen Time — A Talk with Victoria Dunckley, Author of Reset Your Child’s Brain” from New World Library: Books that Change Lives.” or https://www.newworldlibrary.com/ArticleDetails/tabid/230/ArticleID/339/Default.aspx#.XMjitXdFyYM.
- Harm to Young Brains.
Electronic Screen Syndrome
There is new research that shows the frontal lobe of our brains is adversely affected by too much screen time. This part of the brain is the logical thinking and reasoning center. This Electronic Screen Syndrome is particularly harmful to children, since their frontal lobe is still developing until age 25.
Screen activity is a constant stress to our brains. Even little exposure can set it off—even 30 minutes. The brain is stressed, affecting empathy, reading social cues, and delayed gratification. Our brains become less flexible and less resilient. Too much stress overwhelms our ability to adapt (Dunckley, Dangers of Too Much).
- Interactive Worse than Passive: The trouble with Games on a screen.
We’ve always been careful about our kids’ choice of games. We didn’t allow the shooting ones, or the reckless driving ones. We especially liked the logical or educational games. But turns out, any time one interacts on a screen, it is hard on our brains. Severely so. There is new research on screens and their effect on all of us, especially children. It turns out that interactive technology is hard on the brain, much harder than passively looking at screens. Apparently all forms of games, be it educational or entertaining or violent, all create the same negative effects. Screens stress our brains into a constant fight or flight anxiety mode which can lead to emotional outbursts among other symptoms. (Dunckley, Dangers of Too Much).
Interactive screen time is more harmful than passive screen time. It is more likely to disrupt sleep, cause mood and behavior issues, and mental health conditions. “Even small but regular amounts of interactive screen time can cause brain functioning to go haywire.” (Dunckley, Dangers of Too Much).
Gaming makes impulse control worse. People who play too much games on a screen tend to be more reckless and more prone to accident. Gaming hurts our executive action, which is what we need to plan, organize, and complete tasks in real life (Ibid).
The stimulation that video games provide “is really about the pacing, how fast the scene changes per minute,” said Dr. Dimitri Christakis, a pediatrician at the University of Washington School of Medicine who studies children and media. If a child’s brain gets habituated to that pace and to the extreme alertness needed to keep responding and winning, he said, the child ultimately may “find the realities of the world underwhelming, understimulating” (Perri Glass, “Fixated by Screens, but Seemingly Nothing Else,” New York Times, May 9, 2011, http://www).
- The Symptoms and The Cure.
The Symptoms
The symptoms of too much stress on the brain from too much screen time manifest as:
- irritable moods
- poor focus
- disorganized or defiant behavior
- tearfulness, frustration, meltdowns
- anger that comes on easily
- insomnia or panic attacks
- weight gain or high blood pressure
Children may be struggling in school because they can’t get their work done, and display immature behavior that’s off-putting to peers, such being a “sore loser” or arguing all the time. Regarding leisure activities, they may have lost interest in anything that isn’t electronically-based, and show little imaginative play or creative expression.
This can Lead to depression, irritation, mood swings, defiant behavior, trouble handling conflict, reading social cues, making eye contact. Focus, organization, and deep thinking are affected. Sleep is highly affected, and melatonin production is inhibited. These problems disappear when technology is removed.
The Solution:
- A Three to Four week fast from screens. Dr. Dunckley worked with many children who were scheduled for treatment for ADHD. She urged parents to hold off and instead try a 30-day fast from screen time. She found that if parents continued to allow a little tv it was perhaps still able to be corrected, but if they allowed even small amounts of interactive screen time, It was impossible to correct.
- Just cutting back does not work: it keeps the nervous system stressed and dysregulated. A total fast is required for symptoms to remit.
- To heal, along with the fast, parents should add one-on-one time with their child, a regular bedtime, daily chores, and physical activity (Ibid).
- Adults (such as Mom and Dad).
There was a point in my life where I was tired of the fight about screens. “Let’s throw them all away!” I decided. But then I realized that this life is the time to learn self-mastery, before we have something greater to manage one day. Missionaries use smart phones; they embrace this great tool to keep track of and bless many people. So the point is to manage them so they don’t manage us. We parents are the model.
Our kids are watching how we use our tools. But they usually can only guess what we are looking at. We have to openly set the example of using them for good, not a time waster or form of constant entertainment. Since they cannot see what we are doing on our phones most of the time, we need to be vocal about it. We must tell them when we are not watching a movie, playing a game, or checking social media again, but instead sending a message to minister to a loved one on our phones. “I am reading my scriptures on my phone today, since my scriptures are at home.” Or “I am texting Grandma to meet me this afternoon” or “checking the weather” will show them we are using phones as a tool, not just entertainment.
- Return and Report.
After President Nelson mentioned the story of the boy who was having a hard time, until his mother replaced his phone with a flip phone—actually, he gave this story twice: once to the youth and once to the women—I decided I’d better pay attention to it. What is a flip phone? It is one that besides has a flap the flips up, has no “smart” features. It has no internet. Mark and I talked about what we should do with this suggestion he was making.
The plan we came up with was to temporarily dumb down our phones. (Yes, Mark included himself and so I reluctantly had to go along too! How could we expect our kids to do something we were unwilling to do?) We’ll all “dumb down” our phones, removing the things that use the internet and the other aps—including our son’s games. Each day at a designated time, we will all report to each other how we did on our phones that day, whether we followed our family’s rules or not, such as plugging in on time, when and how much games, and internet use in the family room, whether we managed them well. After a month’s time, if we did well enough, we then get to add back one “smart” feature. We continue to report each day, and if we slip up, we’ll have to work on it for an extra month. Gradually, we will add back our features, while continuing to be accountable to each other, and at interviews. It will be a team effort to conquer our phones. I am amazed at how right on our prophet was about fighting the even satanic trickery of screens on our brains, and the power of fasts to heal them.
- Manage it or it will Manage You.
We must protect our childrens’ brains, but also we must manage our own. Children learn the most from what they see us do. Do we use our phones as a tool? Or for entertainment. I hate to be bored, and a phone is so easy to grab. Our stake president warned us that we know we are paying it too much attention if ever our attention to a cell phone interrupts our prayer. (Guilty!)
My friend had an excellent way of managing her phone. She decided that hers was only for learning. And when she did use it for entertainment, that was when she timed herself. She brought up another good point: Some can handle alcohol responsibly. But all run the risk of becoming an alcoholic. And some are prone to it. While we wouldn’t think of handing our kids alcohol, screens are also addictive. Some will be prone to addiction. Why would we hand our kids a big problem in the making, with no controls?
We must not let screens substitute for Conversation and Touch, two very important parts of a well-adjusted life. Kids told Collin Kartchner, a researcher on this topic that their parents were on their phones all the time, even at meals. The only time they were told I Love You was with on a picture on their phone! We all need conversation, to talk and to be listened to. We all need touch.
Some may think that this is the world we live in, and that we just have to allow our kids to use screens in order for them to be competent in the future of technology, but actually, protecting their developing brains is more important. “Computer skills do not predict wages, but reading and math skills do,” maintains Dr. Dunckley. Overall, “the best way to help kids use technology in a healthy and productive manner as adults may be to restrict technology use when young.”
We must fight for the health and safety of our children, but not allowing the schools to harm them with too much interactive screen time. Games on a screen may keep our boys or girls busy, but it’s not worth the damage that too much of it does to our children’s brains, and subsequently their success at school and socially. Dr. Dunkley laments, “For the first time in history, we are forcing kids to do something that is addictive.” Many schools are doing just that. May we protect these sharp kids’ sharp brains!
Next time: Babies and Books on a Screen?