Preventing Suicidal Tendencies
“Many years ago, I heard the story of the son of King Louis XVI of France. King Louis had been taken from his throne and imprisoned. His young son, the prince, was taken by those who dethroned the king. They thought that inasmuch as the king’s son was heir to the throne, if they could destroy him morally, he would never realize the great and grand destiny that life had bestowed upon him.
“They took him to a community far away, and there they exposed the lad to every filthy and vile thing that life could offer. They exposed him to foods the richness of which would quickly make him a slave to appetite. They used vile language around him constantly. They exposed him to lewd and lusting women. They exposed him to dishonor and distrust. He was surrounded 24 hours a day by everything that could drag the soul of a man as low as one could slip. For over six months he had this treatment—but not once did the young lad buckle under pressure. Finally, after intensive temptation, they questioned him. Why had he not submitted himself to these things—why had he not partaken? These things would provide pleasure, satisfy his lusts, and were desirable; they were all his. The boy said, “I cannot do what you ask for I was born to be a king.” (Featherstone, Bishop Elder Vaughn J. “The King’s Son.”New Era, November 1975.)
After reading about this amazing young man, I looked up some more about young King Louis the XVII, and the harsh treatment he received. After being kept in a solitary room and fed through bars, then forced to sign a missive against his mother, he decided to remain totally silent. How old was this brave young prince? Well, he later died of illness at age 10, so he was 8 or 9 years old during this time! How amazing that one so young could be so firm in his conviction of who he really was.
Do our children realize they are royalty, sons and daughters of a heavenly king, and destined for greatness? Our Father is King of Kings in Heaven above. Our Heavenly Mother is Queen. What does that make us, their children? Princes and Princesses. Real ones! Yes, though our bodies have lots of ancestors, our Spirits only have one step back to God! So we are all born to someday be kings and queens in the kingdom of God.
In this day of epidemic suicide, we must do all we can to prevent such tragedy, by teaching our kids who they really are. How can we help our kids endure struggle and even embrace hardship with the firm knowledge that it is all worth it to one day become the great people we were entrusted to become?
- We must teach, talk of, and repeat in many different ways the truth of who they really are, from Day One. If we teach this truth over and over, they will come to know that it is true, deep down, even when life gets discouraging.
- We need to constantly be making connections with them. Interviews with our kids can be a warm, safe place where they can talk over things and open up with questions and struggles, doubts and desires. Where we can boost their faith, and point them to getting their own answers, and to keep the Spirit. Parent-Child interviews, if kept upbeat and loving, allow a connection—a regular place to talk. A place to really listen. We can ask that the Holy Ghost help us know the best way to make these connections.
- We can give them ways to Find Joy. Often, we can have fun together, even watching a tv show together or playing a game or dancing around the family room. We can convince them that if they just try to do their best, great joy is ahead.
- We can work alongside them, to help them learn satisfaction in a job well done. Work is such a gift for overcoming all kinds of struggle (See “A Family Perk: You Learn to Work.” The Answer is More Love). When you work, you put aside your thoughts and focus on the job at hand. It is such a rest and a distraction, as well as it’s own reward. Praising kids for their effort to work is timely as well.
- We must find out our child’s interests and let them pursue these. We could pick up an unexpected gift, go out to lunch or to a movie together. Little children love to yell, “Watch me!” And though older kids don’t usually do that, they still long for us to watch them do their sport or play their instrument or practice a school presentation on us.
- We must keep boundaries secure, as they need them. But we could revisit our requirements periodically, if need be, to make sure they fit. (See “Of Turtles, Teens, and Tots: Boundaries..” The Answer is More Love.)
- We show them a Loving Heavenly Father and Mother by being one. When we show great love and patience, it will be much easier for them to see God as loving and patient.
- Also we can show them their Legacy. Sharing often the stories of struggle in our family’s past lets them know they have strong people in their roots. By getting to know their ancestors and the stories of enduring hard things to the end, they will realize they can do it too.
- Consider teaching early the possible consequences of playing God and ending your own life. The book Return from Tomorrow (Richie, George G.) shows the spirits of those who have ended their own lives and the chains of sorrow they constantly feel. Jacob T. Marley (R. William Bennett)has those who have died without repenting as reliving the sorrow they caused others over and over and over. The bible teaches us that “What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s” (1 Corinthians 6:19-20).
- Teach them that this life is crucial for what happens forever after. These are the days to learn and experience life. This life is our time of probation, when we can make mistakes and try again. These lessons require our bodies in order to learn them.
- Teach the Savior’s Atonement. That He suffered and died for us that we can try, and try again, and get up and try again. Because of Him we can keep trying. If we don’t use His atonement, then we will have to “suffer even as I” “suffer even as I” (Doctrine & Covenants 19:17) in the next life. But isn’t it wonderful that we are free to use His gift daily?! “Behold, canst thou read this without rejoicing and lifting up thy heart for gladness?” (D & C 19:39)
- There is the classic rock song, “Everybody Hurts” (R.E.M. band) that teaches us that we all have troubles and to just hang on. Music is another avenue to the brain, a powerful tool in helping kids see their worth, and the need to endure to the end.
We are all born to be kings and queens in the kingdom of God. Our Father is truly our King. Each of us on this earth have a great destiny, and a mission that is only ours. May we teach kids to see who they really are, and the great things they can do, with the help of the Savior.