Be Like our Children!
We know that comparison is the thief of Joy. But how can we stop looking at others and deciding who is better at this or that? The sun is different than the moon, which is different than the stars, but each has a certain time to shine. So we appreciate each blessing in the sky, with no need to decide which is better or worse. How can we be better at appreciating rather than categorizing each other? Maybe we need to be more like our little kids:
1. Applaud Everyone
Recently I watched a talk from a BYU-Provo Devotional entitled “Wrestling with Comparison” by Professor J.B. Haws (BYU Devotional 5/7/19, speeches.byu.edu). It was a wonderful, thorough treatment of our tendency to rob our own happiness by constantly comparing ourselves to others.
He told the story of playing catch with his two young sons, one 4 years old and one 2 years old. The older brother was catching on, while the younger brother dropped the football every time. But without fail, the 2-year old would enthusiastically yell, “Good job!” to his older brother, and then drop his own football again! No matter how many times it happened, this young boy did not get discouraged by comparing. He continued to cheer for his brother’s success with sincere joy for his success. We need to be like our little children, who don’t think to compare! (Haws, BYU)
2. Accept Everyone
This story reminded me of a concept I learned from a professor at BYU. We can approach life from a vertical or a horizontal point of view, he taught. If our outlook is vertical, we think of each person stacked on top of each other. Some are higher than others, ie they have better jobs, better appearance, more money, or more spirituality than those below them. Or, we can take a horizontal view, in which everyone is side by side, holding hands rather than mentally trying to climb on top of each other. In the vertical view, in order to progress upward, someone else has to move downward. But in the horizontal view, when one person moves upward, they take everyone with them! I like to picture old-fashioned cut out paper dolls that are all holding hands. What a great outlook that we are all together in this world and we don’t need to rank or compare.
Professor Haws also shared a wonderful story about a young man who was struggling with life. He had turned away from family and from the church. Another young man reached out to him and invited him to come to Primary with him, to the Sunbeam class that he taught. When the these three-year old children walked into their class and say the visitor with his full beard, they stared at him. After the opening prayer, one little boy got up his courage and asked, “Are you Jesus?”
The visitor was stunned. But his friend the teacher spoke up, “No. This isn’t Jesus. This is his brother.” One youngster quietly replied, “I knew you were related!” This struggling man was amazed and humbled, reminded who he really is. He ended up putting his life in order and serving a mission.
It’s a struggle NOT to notice with envy that another baby can roll over already or another mom has already lost her baby fat! We worry if another child has a than ours or if that student got a better scholarship than ours. If we want to quit beating ourselves up that we don’t measure up, we just need to follow our little child’s lead and learn to applaud everyone! In fact, the scriptures remind us, “a little child shall lead them” (Isaiah 9:6) and the Savior said, “Therefore, whoso repenteth and cometh unto me as a little child, him will I receive, for of such is the kingdom of God (3 Nephi 9:22).
All of us are related! And each of these brothers or sisters we meet has a story, a depth that we cannot see, and struggles that we would not choose. May we continue to grow, but may we focus on lifting each other rather than comparing with each other. Like these 2- or 3-year olds, may we see each other as children of God. May we love rather than compare!