One day Mark and I pulled up to a bus stop. Even though he had the right of way, Mark slowed and motioned for the bus to pull out from the bus stop first, before heading on down the highway.
Afterward, I was looking at the back of the bus as we drove, at the sign that read “60,” the number of the bus or the route number. All at once, the sign changed. I saw the word “Mahalo” (which means thanks) and then there appeared a fist doing the shaka sign! Then, it changed back to “60.” “Mark, that was for you!” I realized. I watched the back of the bus for a long time, and the sign stayed on the “60.” But someone had rigged up a way to say thank you to kind drivers—Hawaiian-style!
We noticed quite soon here in Hawaii, that motorists let people in! It happens to us almost daily, that someone stops, blinks headlights, and motions for us to go ahead with our left turn. Even in a long line of traffic on the Kamehameha—the only highway all must travel—drivers will let you in! No matter that they had been held up a long while already (because of construction constantly on a stretch of the Kam hwy), they let you in! It is really remarkable.
Mark has picked up this practice—he lets other cars go ahead often. I am still working on making this gesture be automatic! After a person lets another in, the common response of thanks is a shaka sign—three middle fingers in, outer fingers spread and waving the whole fist.
Last week, I had agreed to meet my friend at 12:30 (to send a package to AZ with her), and that time was getting close, when I approached the Kam highway from our farm lane. Alas, I could see a long line of cars, stop and go, piled up on the freeway. But right away, a car stopped and a driver motioned me in. It didn’t matter that this person and all the cars behind it had been slowed for many miles—if someone needed to come in, they let them!
Another time, we were coming home from “town” (Honolulu) and the left lane had a long line backed up, while we were sailing down the right lane with no stops. Soon, we realized we needed to be in that left lane. And the minute our blinker went on, someone let us slide in. Again, it didn’t matter how long they had been stuck in stop-and-go traffic, they made room for us. No one gave us a glare or a “that’s not fair” signal. They just practiced their aloha custom of letting someone else go first.
What a breath of fresh air, to have someone let you go ahead. I hope I can model for my children the “you go first” attitude. What a nice way to make the world a kinder place.
Do I teach my children this kind of world view? Or do I teach them to look out for “number one?” I am determined that when I drive my son to school, he will see me stop often and motion another one in. I hope my children and grandchildren will hear me say and model “you go first,” be it getting food, taking turns with a toy, or playing a game. May we give them the words to say from very young, “You go first” along with the mindset of watching out for others rather than just “what’s in it for me?” When this response becomes automatic, our very hearts change and our world becomes a little bit better.