A Family Council Approach
Jacob and Anna Jones had a terrible problem. Mealtimes at their house had become a daily fight. It was awful, and they’d tried all kinds of things. Still, there was screaming and fussing, and kids who didn’t eat then were hungry later!
Family Council. So one night, they decided it was time for a Family Council. They gathered their three young children and went to a different place than usual—for better listening. For the Jones’s, it was the porch swing. When everyone was ready, Jacob and Anna told the kids that they were now old enough to have a Family Council together! It was a very special meeting for kids who could understand important things. And since they needed Heavenly Father to help them, they would start with prayer. When one child offered to say it, she was instructed to be sure to ask for the Holy Ghost to help them so everyone could work together at their family council.
1. Special Visitors need Special Rules. All of the sudden (after the prayer), Dad’s phone rang. (Anna had secretly called Jacob.) “Hello, Bishop.” Jacob said into his phone. “Yes, yes of course!” “See you then!” Jacob hung up and announced, “The Bishop would like to come have dinner with us tonight. What should we do to make it nice for him?” Then they talked about how usually it was a big deal where everyone sits each night. “Do you think he would like the contention about where people sit?”
Principle: The scriptures, Jesus teach us “He who has the Spirit of Contention is not of me, but is of the devil who is the Father of contention, and he stirreth up the children of men to contend with anger one with another.” (3 Nephi 11:29) Do we want to help Satan or do we want to help Jesus?” What rule do you think we should have in our family?
Rule #1: Peace at the Table. (They discussed ideas then Anna wrote it down.)
Activity: The family sang, “Who’s on the Lord’s Side Who?” and every time that question was sung, everyone could raise their hand and quicky call out, “I AM!”
“Now, We’re going to play a little game,” announced Anna. she pulled out some folded 3×5 cards with everyone’s name on them, place cards. She put them in a bowl and mixed them up. “Do you think we could play this game with no contention? I think we can. Dad will draw out someone’s name without looking, and that person picks where they are going to sit for the month and we will tape it down on the table. That way there is no contention about where people sit. Next, month, we will choose again.
2. Dad’s phone rang again! “Hello. President Nelson!?” “OUR HOUSE?” “Well, yes, sure.” “Come on over!” You’ll never believe this, Jacob told the family. President Nelson wants to come to our house for dinner! How can we make him feel comfortable? Then they talked about the screaming and fussing that usually happened at their dinner table. “He is 97 years old. Don’t you think screaming and fussing would hurt his ears? He would hate it at our house! We need to change. What rule should we have in our family?”
The Principle. “A soft answer turneth away wrath, but grievous words stir up anger.” (Proverbs 15:1)
Rule #2: Happy Voices Only at the Table. (Discussed, thenWritten down)
Activity: Talk about the word Decibels. “We can lower our voices a few decibels,” taught President Hinckley. Ensign. November 2002) Let’s play a game to practice this rule. Dad picks any word. He starts saying that word in a quiet whisper than gets progressively louder and louder until when each person feels it has reached the best decibel they raise their hand. Then it’s someone else’s turn with a new word. And so on, til the whole family knows the right decibel that would make President Nelson, or the new baby, or anyone feel comfortable.
3. Dad’s Phone rang again! “Hello” “Yes, this is the Jones family.” “We would be honored for you to come to our home.” “Oh, Family,” exclaimed Jacob. “Jesus wants to come to our home! How can we make Him feel happy in our home? (Listen to responses)
Remember kids, Jesus created all the earth. He made the plants and trees that grow our food. How do you think He would feel if we said we didn’t want it! Do you think He would feel bad? Don’t you think we should thank Him for the wonderful foods He made for us? What if we just said, “Thank you. And tried at least one bite. Do you think it would please Him?”
What should our rule be?
Principle: “It is a good thing to give thanks unto the Lord.” (Psalms 92:1)
Rule #3 Always be thankful for our food. And always try a thank-you bite. (Discussed and Also Written down)
Activity; Let’s practice! Bring out a tray of unfamiliar food. Practice saying Thank you! (Never talk bad about our food.) And trying one bite.
4. Dad’s Phone rang again! “Hello?” (This time Anna answered.) Mom: “Hello. Remember that Jesus created everything. He made our teeth too.” Dad: “Yes, you are Right” To the family, “You know, Jesus gave us our teeth too. Aren’t they wonderful for chewing?” Mom: “We need to take good care of our teeth.” Dad: “You’re right again!”
“Jesus Christ. . the creator of all things from the beginning.” (Helaman 14:12) He created our bodies and our teeth. We should take care of them.
Rule #4 Always brush and floss our teeth. Only eat treats if we will take care of our teeth. (Discussed and written down as well.)
Activity: Let’s practice. Each eat a sweet treat, then happily brush and floss.
2. Our Family Rules: (that we came up with together)
1. Peace at the Table
2. Happy Voices
3. Thankful for our Food
4. Take Care of our Teeth.
As for our visitors for dinner, part of it is pretend. And part of it is real. We really do want Jesus to visit our home with His Spirit, the Holy Ghost. And the Holy Ghost CANNOT be where there is fighting or screaming or bad words or contention. So, let’s follow our rules so we can have a happy, peaceful home, full of the Spirit. Jacob and Anna: We testify that it is possible, with everyone’s help, to have happy mealtime, to enjoy our food, and to take care of our bodies.
We are going to see how many minutes each meal that we can follow our rules. We’ll start the timer and record on a paper by the kitchen table our Merry Meal record! Let’s work together to see if we can go the whole meal following our family rules. And then, how many days we can follow them.
Thank you for helping us have a good family council together.
Closing prayer, (ask for help to follow our new rules.)
3. Variety and Fun.
Jacob and Anna also decided to come up with fun things at mealtime:
–Special plates, such as pie tins, paper take out containers, or dollar store football shaped plates!
–conversation starters to bring happy conversation, such as “Table Topics”
–a fun item for a center piece, such as a tree with things clothes-pinned to it.
–a happy face of ketchup on an omelet or a happy face of red hots on a pancake
–“Stone soup,” “Green Eggs and Ham” or some other fun food from a book!
These served as fun and celebration for their increased time of following their rules. Even trying to follow them is to be celebrated! And as they grow, kids will get better and better at keeping the rules they helped to make and they understand.
See also: It’s Not Icky! Don’t Be Picky! | The Answer Is More Love; and Time for Sup! Please Eat Up! | The Answer Is More Love