Sick of My Child?
A couple of days ago, a young father asked me, “What do you do if your find yourself sick of your child?” “You have had lots of time with kids, he went on, “What do you do if you have had it?”
I had to stop and think for a minute. Here’s what I came up with, ideas for those times when you are ready to throw in the towel:
–A Change of Scenery. When things get tense and feelings get raw, go to a new place. The backyard may provide some distraction and calm. The park is a good place to use up extra energy and use some big muscles. What child doesn’t love to do some climbing and yell, “Look at me!” so proud of a new challenge met. The library is a wonderful place to let someone else read our child a story or help them do a craft. It’s full of fun books to take home and enjoy–and distract from naughtiness!
- Read Your Own Book. Sometimes when I am tired of my life, I find the time to read a good book for myself. It lets me rest from my life and think about someone else’s for awhile. My character also gets into scrapes and feels depressed, but things generally work out. And, after that, we can feel refreshed and take back up our own challenges again.
- Play some music. Either upbeat or calming. Sing as loud as you want. Let anyone join in. Dance around the kitchen as you fix a meal or dance as you pick up toys.
- A Change of Parent. A hand off to the other parent is so welcome at times. How I loved it in the evenings after dinner, when Mark would take the baby and play with her for awile, so I could take a section of time for a shower or a project, with the baby being cared for somewhere else besides my hip. I generally loved reading a chapter book to the older kids at bedtime, but sometimes, he would even do that for me, when I was especially in need of a break.
- Do one thing you’ve been wanting to do. Often, when one is caring for chidren, it seems like nothing else gets done. I have often sat on the couch nursing a baby and thinking how badly I wanted that crooked picture across the room to be straightened. So I might pick that as my one thing I made sure I did that day, straighten the framed picture on the wall. Then, the whole rest of the day, I had something to rejoice about! I had done that one thing that had been bothering me, and now I could enjoy that picture. Maybe it was a letter I really wanted to right, or a drawer that was so in need of wiping of crumbs. If I did one thing, I could be patient about the rest of the undone things, and give my time to my child more happily.
- A Treat. Save something that you can get out when things get difficult. Maybe it’s playdough that has been up high. Maybe it’s a different snack that has been tucked away. Maybe the distraction of something new will buy you a few minutes to make a new plan, or to continue the old one!
- Look in at your child when they are asleep! Children look so sweet when they are asleep! There are no tantrums, no messes, no bothersome antics while they are peacefully sleeping. So that is a great chance to remember how innocent and sweet that little child is, and how much you really do love him. Try it. It’s hard to resist a baby who is sound asleep.
- Fortification. Sometimes we parents need reinforcements. A babysitter is a wonderful opportunity to leave the home for a little while, to regroup, and reconnect as a couple. Filled with happy memories of times together just the two of you will make it easier to go again and care for children. In fact, when I was married, we were counseled to afford a babysitter once a week. How good that counsel has been for us!
- Spiritual reinforcements. I remember when my twin sons were two years old. They got into everything—only not always at the same time. After getting one big mess all cleaned up, it was hard to be patient when the other twin made that same big mess a few minutes later! It took me a minute to remember that this is the Other One, so I should be just as patient as I was with the first one.
Prayers and scriptures were absolutely essential to helping me get through the day without yelling. In fact, I discovered that if I could read even half a page of scripture, I was able to have a Pause. I needed this pause to come up with a better response and patience for whatever happened.
—More Love. When you feel you are at the end of your rope, stop and remember. Bring back to mind the precious times and the tender feelings. Remember how dear this child is to you really, and that it is all worth it. This child is going to grow up and be your very best accomplishment in your life.
It’s hard, of course it’s hard. Nothing of value is without opposition. But pray for more love and you have what it takes to stop for a minute, then get back in there and enjoy this season of your life!