“Every family has at least one member who keeps score, “ noticed Grandmother one day. It’s the one who keeps track who gets what, when, and how much. They are always complaining that someone got this and they didn’t, or that this person got twice as much as that one!
The problem is that is it impossible to be exactly fair to everyone all the time!
So one family night, Mark and I put up a big sign across the wall:
LIFE IS NOT FAIR
We just agreed on thiswith the kids and reaffirmed: This life is not fair. There is no way that we can treat everyone exactly the same. Nor can we try to keep things exactly fair. Things change, and the thing that one person got when they were 9 years old may not be available when you are 9 years old! We cannot be exactly fair to everyone, we explained.
Nor would you want us to! Everyone is different and everyone likes different things.
“However, we can promise to love all of you.” We went on. “We will give good things to each of you, and help you when you need help.
God, too, is not exactly fair to everyone–In this life. People make choices in this life, and some of them may be bad choices that affect others unfairly.
God promises that all will be made fair in the next life. All wrongs will be righted. All who must pay, will pay. All who missed out will be given another chance. We can trust in this promise. And if we repent in this life, we can be forgiven and let Christ’s atonement pay the consequences we cause. In fact, He has already paid!
In the next life, everything is made fair.
But for now, we can leave it be, knowing it will all work out, and instead say,
Wwhenever anyone has a good thing happen to them, we can rejoice with them. We can be happy that it is their turn for a good thing, and that your turn will happen sometime sooner or later! So for now, it’s not fair. But that’s ok.
“Yay for You!!”
In the end, all is fair and right. We can find joy now, do our best, repent when we mess up, and trust in God for a perfect and wonderful future!
Meanwhile, we Can notice when something good happens to someone and tell them:
Yay for You!!
I love it! We’re definitely going to have this conversation with our kids. Thanks!